Imagine this: Your loved one wakes up on Christmas morning with an extra bounce in your step. They throw off the covers and run down the hall, skidding to a stop in front of the tree – and what’s this? The most omigod-so-adorable fluffy little furball anyone has ever seen! A puppy?!? Best. Gift EVARRRRR! You instantly win parent/spouse/sibling of the year, right? WRONG!

The 2014 Winter Olympics was held in Sochi this month, amidst social and political controversy, lukewarm interest, and even lukewarm-er weather, requiring a LOT of fake snow to be blown during the unusually balmy weather. While I sincerely admire anyone who can be the best in the world at their particular sport, I didn’t really plan on watching the games, and I still couldn’t name you a single gold medalist this year. Russia’s anti-gay policies, among other human rights abuses, didn’t help to romanticize the locale. But when news broke a couple weeks before the opening ceremony that the local government had contracted with a local pest-control company to round up and kill as many stray dogs as possible, my ears really perked up.

La Historia de pinche Pepe.